Todd Barry Quotes & Trivia

Quotes

Anyone who bombs is my friend.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend.

I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work.

I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.

I just ate a Wild Fire Chicken Salad from Bob Evans. I'm on my way to getting fat.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.

I liked college better than I liked high school and everything up till high school.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written.

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

I took piano lessons. I played clarinet for about an hour and French horn for a few minutes. Drums were what I settled on.

I will not be misquoted!

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

I'm sure there are people trying to prod or sneak or try to beat the system, but I don't really deal with that.

I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy.

I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show.

I've never read Ulysses. Why do you ask?

In New York, if you wanted to be a comic you had to bring people to try to get on an open mic, but you could get on a regular show in Florida.

It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

People in New York love having roof parties.

Some venues are better run than others. Sometimes it's just maddening to deal with full dinners being served in front of your face. You can have a good or bad show anywhere.

Thanks for defining superpower for me. I had no idea what that was. I thought it might mean the ability to smell.

There are commercials that are funny, but you might forget the product. A standard commercial might hammer that point home better.

Wear your seat belts. Wash your hands a lot. One or the other, but don't do both.

You always think you're better than you are in the beginning.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

You get the occasional drunk person who wants to talk more than they're capable of talking. Whatever. Not my worst problem.

Trivia

Todd Barry has two comedy CDs out - 2004's "Falling off the Bone" and "Medium Energy" (2001).