After our divorce, I slipped into the darkness of depression and addiction that seems to be the family curse.
All I could ask for is having an emotional bond with the kids where they want to be with me, as opposed to have to be with me.
All I needed was one more man to tell me I was a failure, and John was that last person. And then I just believed it.
As an evolving actress, you can sort of go with the times.
As Peter Bogdanovich would say of Paper Moon: Ryan's wonderful in it, and he sat there and watched the kid steal the picture.
Being away from John and away from the kids, that's when the reality of my old life and who I was and all my demons came right back.
Certain struggles never end.
Chemical dependency is not a right to be punishing me for the rest of my life.
Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.
He started pushing at me, kicking me, until I stumbled backward and started slipping down the staircase. I scrambled to my feet and backed down the stairs as John came raging after me.
I began to experience frighteningly dark depressions, with fierce anger as their flip side.
I didn't want to be like my mother.
I didn't want to be this crazy mother, which I sort of later ended up later on being.
I do take responsibility for it. I admit to having a problem. I have been to numerous treatment centers.
I felt privileged to be a facet of such a jewel in the crown of American cinema.
I had to endure the indignity of supervised visits, with John controlling the schedule.
I have a temper, but I wouldn't call me abusive.
I never dreamed that shooting a film would be so hard. There was less regulation then of child actors' hours. Even the concept of acting confused me.
I realized that I would do drugs alone. I didn't need anyone to do them with me. I was a drug addict.
I remained Ryan's companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens.
I think all of us feel like we're a bit on show, all the time.
I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father's lifestyle.
I was still looking for a panacea, for some kind of relief from all of that life, from all that damage.
I would go on to marry John McEnroe, another punishing man.
I'm not going to get into the psychology of it, but I feel as women, it is our responsibility to get away from men like that. I didn't choose my father, but I chose to leave home.
I'm still the same woman that was in those bad situations, who feels like a coward and a failure.
I've been learning my craft for the last 10 years, so it's really cool to sort of see how movies have changed. It was OK shooting on digital.
I've kept my moral compass intact and aimed at true north.
I've overcome neglect and deprivation, abandonment and abuse.
I've overcome physical and mental brutality - and fought back.
I've purged myself of bitterness and anger and remained open to love.
I've stood my ground in life, alone, even against overwhelming forces with the might and money to crush me.
I've triumphed over addiction.
It's hard to shoot really quick, and to shoot with no money. You don't get the perks.
John was cute. Great tennis player.
Luckily, I had my own family with me. I was proud, and I felt bolstered by their loyalty and love.
My children forgave me at a time when I could barely forgive myself.
My movie is in the dramatic competition.
My oldest son sort of sat down with me. He sort of shed a tear. And he said, I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't do that any more.
Paper Moon didn't bring me love.
Peter took me on. He'd later say that it was my scrappy attitude that got me the job.
Peter was a bulwark between me and my father.
Ryan finally came to my rescue. He'd thought working together in Paper Moon would help us bond.
Ryan is my bridge to the past, to memories that lose some of their sting when he recounts them.
Sitting with my beautiful, brilliant, healthy kids to celebrate the anniversary of the movie that saved me, changed me, and set me on my life path was the supreme joy.
The kids were protective, sensing my anxiety at seeing Ryan, always unpredictable and capable of lashing out.
The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.
The most horrendous thing. And I'm so terribly sad that Emily walked into that room. It's tragic and awful. I'll regret it 'till the day I die.
The tabloids were sniffing the air around us, eager for a scent of conflict. We foiled them by rising, with professional smiles, to perform the Hollywood Hug.
Things get so sloppy when you're under the influence.
Things with my dad were pretty good until I won an Academy Award. He was really loving to me until I got more attention than he did. Then he hated me.
To see my kids, I'd endured the humiliation of drug tests and supervision, but believing I'd failed them was my most agonizing shame.
We're working all the time, so you sort of have to be ready to stop and do a quick interview at any given turn.
When someone was hitting me, or like sexually molesting me, it just seemed normal to continue to do that to myself.
When you're treated badly, at least in my situation, I just didn't know any better.
Almost since as soon as Tatum could write she kept a diary she named Fanny inspired by The Diary of Anne Frank. Tatum says she wrote to Fanny nearly every day sometimes adding little sketches and, after her kids were born, pasting in cute or funny pictures of them with captions.
Many of the pictures in Tatum's memoirs were actually from Tatum's personal collecton.
The offer for Tatum to star in Wicked Wicked Games came when she was in New York City working on the FX show Rescue Me.
She was ranked #14 in VH1's list of the "100 Greatest Kid Stars"
She is 5' 7" (1.70 m.)
In Little Darlings Tatum played one one of the lead characters Ferris Whitney. Her character was very educated very traveled and very smug! Opposite Tatum was Kirsty McNichol who played Angel Bright in this 1980 flick.
In week one of Dancing With The Stars, the judges scored Tatum a 23 out of 30 on her waltz that evening.
She was born to actor parents Ryan O'Neal and Joanna Cook Moore. Her brother is actor Griffin O'Neal and her sister-in-law is actress Rebecca De Mornay.
Tatum broke the previous record becoming the highest-paid child star with her role in the 1976 version of Bad News Bears with her role as played Amanda Whurlitzer.
In Dancing With The Stars Tatum danced with ballroom professional Nick Kosovich.
Tatum O'Neal was named after her paternal grandmother and jazz pianist Art Tatum.
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