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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it.
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?... (more Spike Milligan quotes)
Professor Richard Wiseman has identified Milligan as the writer of the world's funniest joke as decided by the Laughlab project.
Spike: Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.
Spike: In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike: I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike: I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right ar... (more Spike Milligan trivia)