I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.
I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.
I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything.
You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.
Sentimentality is a form of fatigue.
I was gladly cuffed, shackled, loaded into the caged bus and driven through the main gate of Bare Hill Correctional Facility for what I pray to God will be forever.
Perhaps the greatest utopia would be if we could all realize that no utopia is possible; no place to run, no place to hide, just take care of business here and now.
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