Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Carpe per diem - seize the check.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Reality: What a concept!
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.
We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
Robin was named "Funniest Male Star" at the 2007 People's Choice Awards.
Robin directed several episodes of Mork And Mindy and the 1981 Comic Relief TV special.
Robin has lent his voice to five animated movies. They were FernGully: The Last Rainforest, Aladdin, Aladdin And The King Of Thieves, Robots, and Happy Feet.
Robin opened the 1976 San Francisco Comedy Competition against Dana Carvey, Harry Anderson, and A. Whitney Brown.
Robin was ranked number 63 on Empire magazines list of the 100 greatest movie stars of all time.
Robin was one of the finalists for the role Joe Miller in Jonathan Demme's Philadelphia. However the role went to Denzel Washington.
In 1996 two of Robin's movies reached the 100 million dollar mark in the same week. They were The Birdcage and Jumanji.
While working on Mork And Mindy Robin adlibbed so much and so well that the producers stopped trying to make him stick to the script.
Robin is a huge Star Trek fan.
Robin goes to public paintball courses.
Robin co-owns a resturant in San Francisco called Rubicon. The other co-owners are Robert De Niro and Francis Ford Coppola.
To get into character for Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin rode the bus dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire.
Robin was ranked number 13 on Comedy Central's list of 100 greatest stand-ups.
One of Robin's most famous routines was his successful one-man show and DVD, Robin Williams Live On Broadway.
Robin's first imitation was of his grandmother's southern accent.
Robin won a lawsuit against Michael Clayton, an ex-cast member in the Imperial Palace Legends in Concert show and his manager, Michael Pool for misrepresenting Clayton as the real Robin Williams to a newspaper reporter and a Missouri Fire Department. Clayton received an injunction stopping him from ever performing as Robin Williams.
Robin voiced the Timekeeper, a time traveling robot who goes in the future in the former Walt Disney World attraction.
Robin went to visit Christopher Reeve in the hospital after he fell off a horse and became paralyzed. He tried to cheer him up by showing up dressed as a clown doctor. In an interview Reeve said Robin was the first thing to make him laugh after the incident.
Robin is called "the poster child for ADD".
Robin was nominated for an Academy Award for "Best Actor" for his role In Dead Poet's Society. He also won an Academy Award for "Best Supporting Actor" in Good Will Hunting.
In high school Robin was "Voted Most Likely Not To Succeed".
Robin is friends with Steve Martin. When they aren't busy they get together and watch DVDs of Doctor Who.
Robin is friends with film director, Chris Columbus.
Robin is fluent in French.
Robin shortly dated porn star Christy Canyon.
Robin had a drinking problem during the 1970s and 1980s. He stayed sober for 20 years. However he checked back into rehab on August 9th 2006.
Robin performed his comedy routine for the U.S. troops in Iraq several times and once for the troops in Afghanistan.
Robin won the Grammy Award for "Best Spoken Comedy Album" in 2003 for Live 2002.
Robin was voted funniest man alive by Entertainment Weekly.
Robin is typically clean-shaven in his comic roles and bearded in his serious ones.
Robin spends much of his time working with charities. Robin and his wife created the Windfall Foundation, an organization that raises money for different charities.
Robin enjoys cycling and owns dozens of bicycles. He attends the Tour De France often and is friends with Lance Armstrong, who he sometimes trains with.
Robin briefly studied political science before he went to Juilliard.
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