Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula was named #88 on Comedy Central's list of '100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time'.
Paula was arrested on a felony warrant for three counts of commiting a lewd act with a fourteen year old girl. She pled 'no contest' to felony child endangerment and misdemeanor inflicting injury on a child for driving with her children while intoxicated. Paula received five years of probation, and six months in a alcohol rehabilitation program.
Paula has performed in almost every Comic Relief, to raise money for the homeless in America, since it's inception.
Paula is the first woman to headline the White House correspondents dinner and provided live coverage of the 1992 political conventions and presidential inauguration for The Tonight Show.
Paula has a special column titled Ask Paula To Ask Her Cat. Paula's cat Hep can speak, but only to her, and answers all questions with authority on a wide array of topics.
Paula is heard regularly on NPR's weekly quiz show called Wait Wait! Don't Tell me.
Paula lists her biggest comedic influences as: Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, and Phyllis Diller.
Paula adopted her first child, Thomas in 1993, and went on to adopt two daughters in 1997, Toshia and Allison. She had also been a Foster parent to several children over the years, but has since been barred from doing that as a result of a legal settlement.
Paula was a bike messenger by day, and bussing tables by night in a restaurant called Salad For All Seasons, when she gave her first stand-up routine a try at the Comedy Connection in Boston. Her first few auditions weren't favorable, but she went back on 'ladies night' and won over the audience, and was invited back.
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