The Philosophers Song lyrics
by Monty Python



The Philosopher's Song (Monty Python)Immanuel Kant was a real pissantWho was very rarely stable.Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggarWho could think you under the table.David Hume could out-consumeWilhelm Friedrich Hegel,And Wittgenstein was a beery swineWho was just as schloshed as Schlegel.There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya''Bout the raising of the wrist.SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.Plato, they say, could stick it awayHalf a crate of whiskey every day.Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,Hobbes was fond of his dram,And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!