A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.
Anybody who rides around on a Segway is a mewling pantywaist passive-aggressive dork with arrested-development issues who probably saves his email in tidy little folders organized with happy-face icons.
Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.
Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.
Faith is like a kernel of wheat.
For the first time in recent history, it became cool to claim you were a virgin.
I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?
If you got all your information about the sexual habits of teenagers from the mainstream middlebrow press over the last twenty years, you'd be convinced we're a nation of eunuchs and ice queens who reproduce through osmosis.
If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."
In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.
In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.
It's not a crime to get drunk.
Shiner Bock is the best. Great beer. I've drunk it all my life. Currently available mostly in Texas, New Mexico and Oklahoma.
The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
The classic three-act structure of plays was thrown out years ago, because producers believe that audiences hate that second intermission too much.
The first thing I saw at the Museum of Sex was a solid white sculpture of a dead hooker crumpled up on her bed.
The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.
There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.
Yet it wasn't so long ago that virtually every person in the world felt perfectly free to show up on the doorstep of any other person in the world.
The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare. Since jealousy comes from feeling less than another, comparisons only fan the fires.
The toddler craves independence, but he fears desertion.
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