A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
His best friend is Larry Miller, an actor/comedian.
His first child with wife Jessica, a daughter named Sascha, was born in New York City on November 7, 2000.
Jerry sold light bulbs over the phone, before becoming a comedian.
Jerry performed live at Murat Theater in Indianapolis on March 9, 2007.
Jerry's fist store bought Halloween costume was a superman costume that didn't fit. His mother made him wear his winter coat over it.
His first son was born on March 1, 2003, and named Julian Kal Seinfeld. The birth of his son was announced on Live with Regis and Kathie Lee on 1989.
Seinfeld is left handed.
His height is 5' 11" (1.80 m).
He wrote an article for the February 2004 issue of Automobile Magazine, reviewing the Porsche Carrera GT.
Jerry was ranked #12 in Comedy Central's list of the 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time.
Jerry Seinfeld is Jewish.
He is a Porsche collector.
He is a lover of breakfast cereal.
He is a New York Mets fan.
His parents are Kalman and Betty Seinfeld.
George Wallace was the best man at his wedding.
On April 18, 2006, the Boston-based magazine Phoenix named Seinfeld the "17th unsexiest male celebrity."
Jerry has a home in East Hampton.
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