A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman - and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Modesty is my best quality.
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Benny appeared three times as the Mystery Guest on episodes of What's My Line?
Rochester used to always joke about his boss's hairpieces saying that "Mr. Benny has hair at home he hasn't used yet" but in real life Jack Benny did not wear a toupee.
Fred Allen: Jack, you couldn't ad lib a belch after a plate of Hungarian goulash. Jack Benny: You wouldn't say that if my writers were here.
Benny served as the emcee for President Truman's Inaugural Ball in 1949.
Violinist Isaac Stern was a close friend of Benny despite the comic fun Benny used to have with Stern's instrument.
A middle school in his hometown of Waukegan, IL is named after Benny. The school's nickname is the 39ers after the age Benny always claimed to be.
Politically, Benny was a lifelong Democrat.
Benny won a Golden Globe in 1958 for Best TV Show.
Benny's TV/radio personna always claimed to be 39 years old.
Benny was preparing to star in The Sunshine Boys when his health failed. Good friend George Burns ended up replacing him.
Benny co-starred with Carole Lombard, Robert Stack, and Lionel Atwill in the classic 1942 comedy To Be or Not to Be.
Lucky Strike Tobacco was Benny's longest running sponsor.
During all the years Benny's radio program aired on NBC he never actually met NBC President David Sarnoff until after he left the network for CBS.
The theme song for Jack's radio and TV programs was Love in Bloom.
Benny's radio program was broadcast from New York when it premiered in 1932 but it moved to Los Angeles in 1936.
Benny's wife, Mary Livingstone, had to retire from the act in 1958 after developing a severe case of stage fright.
Benny and his wife had an adopted daughter named Joan.
Benny served in the Navy during World War I.
In 1911, the Marx Brothers offered to take the 17 year old Benny on the road with them as part of their act but Benny's mother nixed the idea.
Jack Benny's father was a saloon owner.
Benny's final television appearance was on one of Dean Martin's Celebrity roasts in 1974. The episode aired after Benny's death.
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