As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.
How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?
I can see getting married and having a family, because it is the next thing on the agenda. You can only do this for so long. I'm old, and my friends all have kids.
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.
I have no detectable hair style.
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
I just couldn't have gone in a room where Chris was in a box.
I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.
I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.
I was a somewhat bright child, which led to different sorts of problems.
I went to Grand Canyon when I was 8. I barely remember it.
I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
I wouldn't do this if I didn't like it.
I'm always making fun of myself and my friends.
I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.
I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.
I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
If you hung out with me and my friends for five minutes, I would be eliminated from show business.
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
It was a weird dynamic. I was just going to gun people down. It was going to be a bloodbath, because that's the only way I was going to get on.
It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
It's brutal. I see friends when their shows don't work. Everything's riding on making money and all the pressure and how people scatter when fortunes turn downward.
It's funny because it's funny.
It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
It's just such a gross business. I see why people get eaten from the inside out. Even when it's going well it's hard to deal with.
It's so crazy in Hollywood.
Lost and Found didn't do a great opening weekend. I was kind of oblivious then, and I thought the movie was kind of fun.
My career is just kind of crazy.
My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?
Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.
People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'
The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.
The movie didn't do that well and literally no one called me. It's such a weird feeling to have people scatter.
The odd thing with Nickelodeon, they can change your movie.
The only thing I miss, when all these fun things are going on, is someone to hang out with.
The set was really fun, but it's like having copies of Playboy all over your apartment. You shouldn't look at them, but you do and that just leads to trouble.
There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.
There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.
They would hear that David Spade wants them to do this movie. They would think I was going to make fun of them, so a lot of them didn't want to do it.
Things like Joe Dirt and Tommy Boy many people didn't see in the theater, and they seemed to be happy later with seeing it. So maybe they just build up some trust.
This is who I am, this is what I think, this is me with no direction, no punch-up guys, no studios involved and no editors doing stuff that I don't know about.
To be famous and broke is hard.
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
We moved a lot. I lived in fear. It was always bad. By the time I figured out what was going on, I flipped out on them! It was crazy.
When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.
When I was a nobody blindsiding stars, it was funny. But I'm kind of one of them now, so it doesn't make as much sense.
When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.
When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
When we were taping the first episodes, I had a steady girlfriend, and out of loyalty I didn't get one number or ask one cast member out; and this cast has some gorgeous members!
With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.
You have to negotiate with a network. I was shocked.
He is very sensitive to light. The combination of bright lights on-set and working under sunlight while filming Black Sheep caused permanent damage to his eyes.
He was in an elementary school class with Brad Pitt.
He played Shiloh in the movie Grandmas Boy.
In 2006 David Spade co-starred with several Saturday Night Live alumni in the film The Benchwarmers.
He did a voice over for Beavis and Butt-Head Do America.
He has been romantically linked to several female celebrities including Krista Allen, Caprice Bourret, Julie Bowen, Lara Flynn Boyle, Sara Foster, Teri Hatcher, Kristy Swanson and Heather Locklear.
He was one of the guests at Lindsay Lohan's 19th birthday party.
He was born on the same day as actor/comedian John Leguizamo. He also shares a birthday with the celebrities Alex Trebek, Willem Dafoe and Danny Glover.
He was attacked with a stun gun by his personal assistant, David "Skippy" Malloy, and then robbed in November 2000.
He suffers from hypoglycemia.
He is the brother-in-law of fashion designer Kate Spade. Kate is married to his older brother, Andrew Spade, who is president of Kate Spade Designs.
His trademark is his Razor sharp sarcasm.
His father, Wayne Spade abandoned his family when David was six. Judy Todd eventually remarried, but David's stepfather committed suicide in 1980. David was 17 years old at the time.
In 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, Patrick Warburton guest stared while David Spade was a main character. In the new movie Kronk's New Groove, David Spade has a small role while Patrick Warburton had the role of the main character.
He was not in the original pilot of Just Shoot Me. The show was rejected until his character was added.
On September 5 2003, he received a star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame.
He is 5'6? in height.
He has two older brothers named Bryan and Andrew.
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