A man is only as faithful as his options.
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
George Bush hates midgets.
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
There are people who would like tog et rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
Chris helped students at Howard University start up a black humor magazine; edited the first few editions of the lllTop Journal.
Chris has been known as an: actor, comedian, TV host, director, producer, screenwriter, Red Lobster employee, humor magazine editor, and a laborer.
Chris's albums: Born Suspect 1991 Roll With Me 1997 Bigger & Blacker 1999 Never Scared 2005
Chris had two major big screen hits open on the same day in the United States on May 27th, 2004: Madagascar, the animated comedy co-starring David Schwimmer, and The Longest Yard, co-starring Adam Sandler & Burt Reynolds.
Chris's wife Malaak Compton Rock was featured in Redbook magazine's "Mothers and Shakers" tribute for her contribution to women in need of hair services. She provides cuts and stylings to women who are getting off of welfare, and preparing to enter the workforce.
Chris received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on March 12th, 2003.
Chris played "Chaka-Luther King" in the 2001 movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. "Chaka" was the name of the little cave-boy in Land of the Lost.
Chris will reprise his voice role of "Marty the Zebra" in the sequel to Madagascar that is to be produced in 2008.
Chris lists Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, and Eddie Murphy as his comedy heroes.
Chris had a hit song titled No Sex In The Champagne Room.
Chris wrote a book titled Rock This in 1997. The book was less autobiographical, and more observant and reflective in content.
Chris has been arrested for: vehicular assault on a youth that robbed him, and three traffic violations, including driving on a suspended license.
Chris released his first comedy album in 1991, titled Born Suspect.
Chris made his feature film debut in the feature film Beverly Hills Cop II, with Eddie Murphy.
He got $2,000,000 for his role in Lethal Weapon 4.
Chris starred in the hit film The Longest Yard, with Burt Reynolds and Nelly.
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