Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
If you don't have a policeman to stop traffic and let you walk across the street like you are somebody, how are you going to know you are somebody?
Maintaining order in the classrooms has never been easy and it is evident that the school setting requires some easing of the restrictions to which searches by public authorities are ordinarily subject.
Respondent would have us announce a fundamental right to engage in homosexual sodomy. This we are quite unwilling to do.
The 1st Amendment protects the right to speak, not the right to spend.
The Court is most vulnerable and comes nearest to illegitimacy when it deals with judge-made constitutional law having little or no cognizable roots in the language or design of the Constitution.
The law is constantly based on notions of morality, and if all laws representing essentially moral choices are to be invalidated under the due process clause, the courts will be very busy indeed.
The risk of racial prejudice infecting a capital sentencing proceeding is especially serious in light of the complete finality of the death sentence.
To exclude all jurors who would be in the slightest way affected by the prospect of the death penalty would be to deprive the defendant of the impartial jury to which he or she is entitled under the law.
We're the only branch of government that explains itself in writing every time it makes a decision.
Where the suspect poses no immediate threat to the officer and no threat to others, the harm resulting from the failing to apprehend him does not justify the use of deadly force to do so.
A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.