I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP they have run out of better ideas.
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
To rely on a train in Blair's Britain is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil.
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